I texted my sister and asked her for a suggestion. Her suggestion? Pillsbury Doughboy.
So... what to do?
Come up with my own pattern. Heaven help me.
I doubt even a professional crocheter would have a clue what this means
I was confusing myself, so I made myself a little chart. I really can't tell you if it will work yet or not. Hopefully, finger's (and eyes) crossed, it will look vaguely like this little poppin' fresh dude's hat. Key word: vaguely. If I can figure it out, maybe I can make a mini one and then figure out how to make an amigurumi Doughboy. THAT would be awesome.